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“Tunde I’m two wee!ks late, I’m scared” I informed him.
“Pamilerin you can't be pregnant, we always use protection except for few times that we got carried away”
“Those few times are enough to get me pregnant”
“I think you should get tested first before jumping into conclusion” he said
“I will get a pregnancy test strip from the pharmacy on my way back from school” I said as I dress up preparing for lectures.
Later in the day, we both came back from school, and I prepared dinner and dished it into a breakable plate. We do eat together.
“Babe you are not eating, you are just staring at the food” he said looking directly into my eyes.
“How will I eat, I’ve bought the pregnancy test strip and I don’t know what the result will say. I’m seriously scared”
“Just calm down, let’s see the result first”
“Tunde what if I’m pregnant?”
“When will you have the test?” he asked
“First thing tomorrow morning”
“Just calm down”
“You are just saying I should calm down, you are a man it won’t affect you”
“You think it won’t affect me? Let’s just wait till tomorrow, now eat your food”
“I've lost myappetite” I stood up and sat on the bed.
“You know starving yourself won’t solve the problem. I’ll cover the food, you can eat when you regain your appetite”
I lay on the bed to sleep but I couldn’t sleep all through the night. I thought of my life and my future. I came from a godly home where my parents did their best in raising godly children. But see what love made me do.
I know it everyday that what I’m doing was wrong, it’s against my belief. I never intended to have sex in my relationship not to talk of been a live in girlfriend.
I did all this for the sake of love, the pressure was much from Tunde that I had to succumb. Fine staying together makes us bond well but I wonder what we stand to gain aside from the bonding and regular sex but see where it landed me.
I’m pregnant I’m very sure of that, I’ve never been this late since I started menstruating, worst is between two or three days, then I’ll see my period" I thought.
While I was still thinking about the mess I got myself into, I felt his hand on my body because I was backing him so I didn’t see him, he was trying to get me aroused.
“Tunde take your hands off me this minute” I said angrily.
“Babe I’m just trying to help ease your worries”
“By having sex with me? I doubt if you are bothered a bit”
“Off course I am, I just want to….
“ Do you even love me, because if you do you won’t be thinking about sex right now”
“I cant believe you just said that, you know I love you"
“Which I’m beginning to doubt, just let me be, pleaseeee”
“I’m very sorry my love, I thought it will help. Stop giving yourself headache we are not even sure yet”
“I get it, it’s my body not yours and I know if something it’s not right”
I took one of the pillows, stood up from the bed and lie on the rug.
“Please come back to bed Pamilerin, I won’t touch you” he pleaded.
I pretended as if I did not hear him. I just lay there on the rug thinking about what the test result will be.
To be continued........
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Episode 2 please..
I woke up the next morning, I took the PT strip into the bathroom, I sat on the toilet sit and pee on the stick. I waited for some minutes and to proof my suspicion, I saw two red lines, meaning I’m pregnant. I screamed.
Tunde rushed into the bathroom and held me. He took the stick from me, he saw two red lines which I’m sure he doesn’t understand the meaning.
He took the PT strip pack from the top of the sink where I put it. He read the instructions and he realized what was going on.
“So two red lines means positive “ he said and sighed heavily. He was sweating profusely.
He took me into his arms to console me but I cried the more.
“Tunde I’m finish, my father will disown me that’s if he didn’t kill me first” I said in tears.
“Pamilerin take it easy we’ll figure it out”
“You can’t understand, have brought shame upon myself and family. My mum is a deaconess while my dad is an elder in church. I’m the first child what example will I set for my siblings” I wept uncontrollably.
“I understand, we are both not ready for this, just put yourself together”
“You are a guy, I’m going to be the object of ridicule not you” I said amidst tears. He wipe my tears with his hands.
“Babe, take your bath and let’s prepare for school its almost 7am and we both have 8 o’clock lecture”
“Go ahead and take your bath, let me stay at home and mourn my woes”
“Let’s stay at home together then, I can’t leave you all alone, not like this”
“Don’t miss lectures because of me, don’t worry I won’t commit suicide. I know better than that, suicide is a direct flight to hell”
“I’m not leaving, we’ll stay here together”
We were like that for hours, we did not bath or eat. We were both engrossed in our thoughts. He sent a text message to the class rep that we wont be coming to class that very day. One thing is sure the whole class we noticed our absence.
Despite the text we still got so many calls. He picked some, I didn’t pick any, it got to a stage I had to put off my phone.
Both of us are just in the room we didn’t say a word to each other.
I thought of so many things, should I run away? But where will I go? I thought.
“Pamilerin! He broke the silence.
“What do you want us to do about the pregnancy?”
“I wish I’m dreaming, I want to wake up and realize all this is a dream”
“This is real”
“What do you want us to do about it” I asked him the same question he asked me.
“We have just two options here, it’s either we keep it or will abort it.
“Let me think and weigh my options” I said.
“I think we have to decide fast”
“I’m keeping it”
“Pamilerin as much as I’m happy that you are carrying my child, and that I can father a child, you know we are not ready for this, we can’t take care of this child”
“What are you insinuating?
“Abortion, that’s the only option we’ve got”
“Abortion! Murdering an innocent child!” I sighed heavily
“Pamilerin, I’m ashamed of myself, this is my seed we are talking about here, I want to see my flesh and blood too but I can’t bring a child into this world when I’m not ready”
“What if something goes wrong in the process”
“Whatever happens, I will stand by you, I will never leave you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That I promise you”
“Tunde, I hope the tune of the song won’t change tomorrow. Hope it’s not just an empty promise?”
“Do you want me to swear or something”
“No! You don’t have to” I said although deep down inside of me I wish I could make him swear an oath, but I know its not right.
I sighed heavily and picked my phone and dialed my cousin’s number. Joy is a close and trusted cousin, we always have each other’s back. She once had an abortion and she confided in me then.
“Joy I’m pregnant” I said immediately she picked the call.
“Preg what? Pamilerin why? You should have been more careful, I told you my experience and it was not a good one” Joy lamented.
I noticed she was already close to tears from the sound of her voice.
“God! I wish this never happened to you” she said sniffing.
“Don’t cry because of me, I brought this upon myself”
“Let’s leave this baby, Daddy can’t kill you, I know he will be mad at you but I promise to stand by you” she advised.
“I don’t want it”
“This is one big guilt you’ll live with for the rest of your life, do you want that?”
“Joy, that’s the only option I have”
“Your boyfriend?” she asked
“We are on the same page”
“OK, I took pills then” she said and gave me the name of the pills.
“Thanks, I’m grateful”
“Please take care and please update me”
“I will, thanks” I said and ended the call.
“What did she say” Tunde ask after I disconnected.
“She said she used pills but I’m sorry if I’m going to be having an abortion that is not an option for me”
“Why! She used it and it worked”
“Tunde, I’m not using pills, what if it has side effects. Take me to a hospital, I will pay for it if you can’t. This is my life we are talking about here” I shouted.
“I’m not saying I’m not paying but…..
“I’m going to a hospital tomorrow” I said cutting him off.
“Do you have any hospital in mind?”
“No I don’t, God will direct me”
Did I just say God! I couldn’t believe I mentioned God, if I had obey his instruction not to fornicate, I wouldn’t have found myself in this situation.
“OK, anything you decide” he said
He stood up and went into the bathroom to take his bathes, he went into the kitchen afterwards to prepare food for us. He encouraged me to take my bath too and I obeyed.
That night sleep eluded me, what if I die, what if I did not make it. I thought of so many things, I was lying there waiting for morning to come.
Watch out for episode 3
The next day came, I prayed to the God my mother serves that morning in tears because I did not have the nerve to refer to him as my God at that moment knowing what I’m up to. I also prayed for my mother. I called her full name in my prayer.
“Abigail Oluwadbunmi Isaac, o ni foju sukun omo, Ina omo oni jo e loruko Jesu”
(Abigail Oluwabunmi Isaac, you we not weep over your child and You won’t loose any of your children
I felt that prayer needed to be said in my language.
We set out with no hospital in mind. We saw a hospital and decided to try it. We are about to enter the gate and something stopped me. I tried to take another step but its like there’s a force pulling me back. Right there I knew it was a sign.
“Tunde! I’m not setting my foot inside this hospital, let’s check out another one”
He looked at me and he was like what’s going on.
“What’s wrong with this one nau, let’s go in first and make enquiries”
“No, I said firmy. My spirit is against this hospital”
We continued our search and came across another hospital and we decided to give it a try.
We entered into the hospital, I walked up to one of the Nurses at the reception and told her I wanted to see a doctor.
She brought out a form for me to fill. I filled it and gave it back to her.
She told me to go back to the reception to sit that the doctor will call me in.
I joined Tunde at the reception, some minutes later, I was called.
I entered the doctor’s office with Tunde. We exchanged greetings. He asked me some questions including why I wanted the abortion and I gave my answers.
He discovered I was a student and She asked for my School ID card which I showed him.
He told me I’m going to take another pregnancy test which I did. He directed me to the hospitals laboratory.
Deep down within me, I was hoping the result will come out negative, that is the only thing that can put a stop to this nightmare, but unfortunately the result came out positive.
An hour later, we were back in his office with the result.
He checked the result and documented it, he also wrote down somethings on the case note.
“Are you responsible for the pregnancy?” he asked facing Tunde.
“Yes sir” he answered.
“ Did you agree to the evacuation?”The doctor asked
“Yes sir, it was our decision” he replied
The doctor brought out a form and gave it to him”
“You have to feel this consent form, which will serve as an evidence that you agree to the whole process”
“I just told you I did”
The doctor smiled. “You know we have heard of some cases of guys who sued hospitals for aborting there babies without their consent. So you see there must be a proper documentation”
Tunde nodded and filled the consent form. The doctor gave us the bill and told us to go and pay to the cashier. The fee was quite expensive. It’s a big hospital, so I already envisaged this.
“This is too much” he said as soon as we step out of the doctor’s office”
“Seriously! So you would have preferred we go to a quack ehn? See I won’t let you ruin my life, if anything happens in the future, you will look for an alternative” I said giving him a scornful look. To be sincere I’m beginning to hate him.
“Wait! Where is that coming from?”
I ignored him, I went to the cashier and paid. I already withdraw enough money from the ATM machine that morning.
After the payment, I was told to sit in the waiting room beside the OR( operating room)
I was there alone. I called my cousin and told her my plight just in case anything happen to me. I told her the name of the hospital and all she needed to know.
The doctor called me into the OR, I saw the instruments on the table and ran out.
“ I can’t do this” I cried
He asked one of the nurses to call my boyfriend. He came and encouraged me but I was scared. The doctors decided to give me anesthesia to put me to sleep.
Hours later, I woke up. I saw my boyfriend, doctor and two of the nurses staring at me. They were all sweating profusely despite the fact that the air condition is on. I look at Tunde’s eyes, they were red, its like he has been crying.
What’s going on here” I asked, terrified.
“We haven’t done the procedure yet” the doctor said
“Why? I remembered you put me to sleep”
“You reacted to the anesthesia we gave you. We were able to resuscitate you after two good hours”
I now remembered everything I saw when I was asleep, it was all like a dream. I saw myself waving at my Parents, siblings and I was begging my boyfriend to go and tell my parents what happened to me. Meaning I almost die indeed.
I silently thank God for sparing my life.
At the end of the day, the abortion has to be done without any anesthesia. It was so painful, I screamed, I cried.
My boyfriend was there all through, he held my hand tried to calm me down. To be candid I gave everyone in the O R a tough time. Some minutes later, the doctor was through.
He left while the Nurses handle the rest. One of the Nurses was so nice to me, while the other one gave him a scornful look, I get the message she was passing across.
I know in her mind she would have given me many names like slut, LovePeddler, fornicator and murderer I guess. She’s free to judge me, she can call be anything but I’m very sure she’s not better than me.
The kind Nurse advice me to be very careful next time.
She told me guys are not really worth all this pains they put us through, she said they are like birds and they can fly away anytime.
She also said if my boyfriend insist on not using protection then I should zip up. She gave me all the advice she would give her own younger sister, she even gave me her number to call if anything comes up although she prayed there won’t be complications. I thanked her whole heartedly.
I was made to relax for some time before leaving. I was giving antibiotics and some analgesics. I joined Tunde at the reception and we left the hospital.
We got back to my boyfriend’s place, he prepared food and hot beverage, I couldn’t eat but I took the hot beverage. My cousin called and I told her I was back from the hospital. She wanted to come over but I told her it’s not necessary that I’ll be fine.
An hour later, the show began. I started bleeding. The bleeding was so much that I used 2 packs of sanitary pad in less than two hours. We were both scared to death.
I remembered the kind nurse gave me her phone number. I called her and she told me it’s normal for now, she told me the kind of pad to use not the regular ones and she also told to get some drugs. I called the names out while Tunde jotted it down. She told me to keep her posted.
Tunde rush down to a nearby stores and bought lots of sanitary pads and the drugs.
I couldn’t eat and I’m getting weak, He forced me to take the energy drinks he bought for me. I took it and vomitted on the floor.
I saw all the stressed Tunde went through and I had no choice than to pity him. He washed all my soiled clothes, stained bed spreads, he washed the toilets and made sure the room was cleaned.
“Well done” I said to him when he was through with the washing”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry for putting you through all this” he said with all sincerity.
I was indoor for a whole week bleeding the first three days was terrible, I thought would not make it.
The good thing is that our faculty had a one week exhibition and they declared the week lecture free. So I didn’t get to miss lectures that week. After 10 days the flow stooped. I saw hell, it was an awful experience.
My boyfriend stood by me all through and the hatred I had for him vanished slowly. I shouldn’t punish him for our mistake.
After the flow stopped and I was strong enough. I packed my things and left Tunde’s place, no more cohabitation. He did not even bother to convince me to stay. He knew my mind was made up.
I got back to my place, he actually followed me and help me clean up my room. He makes sure I was OK before he left.
That night, I wanted to pray but I couldn’t, I felt God will slap me if I dare to call him. I couldn’t even open my mouth to ask God for forgiveness.
Something kept disturbing my peace. My conscience was telling me “You know if you die now or rapture happens, you know you are going straight to hell”
After some days I found the courage to pray, I prayed for forgiveness but I couldn’t forgive myself. I killed an harmless child, that baby suppose to be my first child, but I denied it the right to live.
I live with the guilt everyday. I refuse to go to church, thinking God will strike me down if I dare to enter his house. I gave them some excuses in church.
I was in my room alone one Sunday morning, since I’m still scared of going to church I only listened to messages on radio.
The message talk about forgiveness. I cried after I had the message.
From that message I realized that God had already forgiven me all I need to do is to forgive myself.
The message really helped me moved on with my life. I started attending church afterwards and I felt normal again.
#We cannot embrace God’s forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds# - T.D Jakes
The following week, Joy came from her own school to check on me. I already told her on phone they I’m fine, but she still insisted in seeing me with my own eyes. She was happy to see move back into my room. She’s never liked the idea of cohabitating.
I resumed lectures, all my class mate accused us for not coming for the exhibition. We lied that we traveled. Everything was back to normal again.
For months I was on my own, I mean I never allowed Tunde touch me. I told him to give me time because I realized I feared se.x more than anything else. and he respected my opinion. He said he’ll wait till i come around.
After youth service I tried so hard to get a job but to no avail, then I resolved to teaching.
I got a teaching job in a private secondary school in Lagos where I was been paid #20,000 has salary. Luckily for me I had some students I coach privately.
The school is trekable from my house, so I don’t get to use up all my salary on transport. Also because I stay with my parent, my feeding too was covered.
Tunde got a job in a private firm where he’s been paid #40,000 monthly salary. We still both search for better offer by applying for jobs online, with the hope of getting a bigger paying job. We plan to settle down when we get a better offer.
All of a sudden, I noticed Tunde stopped calling, unlike before when he calls at least twice a day.
I now do the calling, he act so cold on phone. I ask him what the problem was and he said it’s work, that he use to come back late and tired and just go straight to bed.
I was worried sick, wandering what was going on because the Tunde I use to know won’t go to bed without saying good night to me.
My house is very far from his, so I can only go to his place on weekends. I called one of the weekends to inform him that I’m coming and he said he now goes to work on Saturdays.
Some weeks later, I got a call from him, I was surprised. “Tunde remembered me today. Maybe he has realized his mistakes” I thought. So I picked the call.
"Hello, how are you?”
“I’m good” I replied
Babe! see I’m sorry for this past days have been very busy, work is hectic and I just hope you understand”
“I don’t understand, Tunde you are not the only one working, why you allow your so called work to get in the way of our relationship is what I don’t get” I stated.
“See I’m very sorry….
“Tunde hear yourself, so you are so busy that you can’t make a 30secs call, I’m not even asking you to call but at least you should pick mine if you can’t make the call”
“Pamilerin I know I’ve taken it too far but I promise to make it up to you” he pleaded.
I couldn’t believe my ears, so he could apologize to me. “ its OK, just promise you’ll always find time for us, even in your busy schedules.
“I promise babe, are we good now”
“Yes we are” I smiled. At last he has come back to his senses.
“Can you come over on Saturday, I’ve missed you”
“Are you not going to work?”
“No, I’m free this Saturday”
He’s sudden change of attitude still baffles me, is he playing pranks on me or something?” I wondered.
“Hello, are you still there” his voice brought me out of reverie.
“I’m here, I’ll come on Saturday”
“Good, that’s my girl. See you on Saturday then. I love you
He has hurt my feeling repeatedly, that I can’t even tell if I still love him or not.
“I love you too”I replied
I was at his place on Saturday. I cooked for him, he ate. After eating, he started making sexual advances at me.
“Tunde! I’m not here for this, what we need now is not se.x. I think we should talk”
“Talk about what again”
“Tunde what do you take me for, a door mat?”
“Where is that coming from now”
“We are drifting apart,I don’t know if you feel what I’m feeling”
“See there’s nothing to talk about we are fine”
Before I could say jack, he was all over me. At first I did not respond, How will I sleep with someone who doesn’t treat me right or make me happy.
He stopped when he noticed my coldness towards him.
“Everything will be fine now I promise” he assured me.
“Babe I love you, I miss you” he said kissing every part of my body.
I gave in, maybe he meant every word he altered.
Tunde practiced all kinds of stunts on me. I’m very sure he’s been seeing adult films lately, because those moves are out of this world. He made me do all manner of dirty things I can’t start talking about.
After he had satisfied himself, he fell on his bed and slept off.
I cried as I watched him sleep, I felt dirty, I felt like trash. My whole body was aching.
I woke him up when I was ready to leave.
“Tunde! I’m leaving” I tapped him
“OK, you can leave I’ll give you a call”
I couldn’t believe my ears, even a prostitute doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment.
“I said I’m leaving, won’t you see me off?” I said angrily.
“See, babe I’m tired, please let me be, it’s that too much to ask” he barked at me.
“Fine! Go ahead and sleep, honestly I can’t blame you, I’m the one who played the fool” I said and storme
I got back home and rushed into the bathroom, I opened the shower, sat down on the titled floor and wept. I took my sponge and scrubbed every part of my body, just to wash his filthy hands off me. I was in the bathroom for God knows how many hours. In the bathroom, I thought of so many things, it was a time of reflection for me.
"Enough is enough, I think it's time to go back to God" I said to myself
I came back into the room, knelt down and cried to God for forgiveness. I made a promise to God never to indulge in any sexual act again until I get married.
I made so many promises to serve, obey him and all. I put off my phone and slept.
The next day I put on phone and his message pop in.
He apologized for what happened the previous day. I was still reading his text when his call came in. I decided to pick it after several rings.
“Baby, I’m so sorry, I was really tired yesterday”
I didn’t say a word and he continued ranting over the phone.
“Baby please say something”
“What do you want me to say, when did you become this bad, this is not you”
“Please just forgive me, please….”
“Hope this won’t happen again?”
“It will never happen again, I promise”
"I have a condition" I said
"What's the condition"
"No more sex"
He laughed. "I know you are saying this because you are angry, all the same, I've heard you"
"You are laughing right! you think I'm joking, I'm dead serious"
"I've heard you, is that all?"
"Yes, for now"
"OK my love, I'll talk to you later"
He ended the call and I couldn’t help but cry. I’m I in a right relationship?” I asked myself.
He acted normal for a month. He calls and even visited me twice and after that Tunde shut down again like Nigeria’s electricity.
I was so preoccupied, the only day I can meet him at home is Sunday. But now Sunday is out of it because my schedules are tight on Sundays too. Ever since the last incident, I’ve been committed in Church.
After church service I’ll have to attend meetings upon meetings and by 5pm I’ll have to be in the house fellowship which I can’t afford to miss being the new house fellowship leader.
For like two months I did not set my eyes on him. Now he doesn’t pick my calls and of course he never return my calls. The reality of loosing him now hit me. I cried my eyes out when it dawn on me that my 5years relationship is crumbling before my very eyes.
Everybody knew us to be an item, my family, his family, friends, What will I tell them. It’s 4months gone and we did not see each other despite the fact that we both stay in the same Lagos.
I called my cousin, Joy and told her what was going on.
“Pamilerin, don’t stop calling him”
“Even if he’s not picking my calls?”
“Yes, keep on calling and please create time and go see him . So that it can be said of you that you did your best”
“I’ve heard you. I’ll find time and check on him”
On Sunday, I decided not to attend all my Sunday meetings just for me to see him. I went to his house but to my surprise, I met the room empty. I was told he had moved out, the guy I met in his compound said he had no idea of where he relocated to.
The guy asked how come I never he knew he relocated.
I took his question for an insult. But he is right, how will my boyfriend move out without my knowledge
“Do you remember the last time you visited him?” he asked.
“Ehn ehn! He moved out the second day”
My hand bag and phone fell from my hand.
“Are you sure of what you just said?”
“Yes, I’m sure because I asked after you when he was parking and he said you left the previous evening”
I refused to believe the guy. Tunde had another friend in the compound, I checked on him, but he was not around. I left the place troubled, I called him severally and he did not pick my calls.
I returned home in the evening and I texted him, he called back and told me he’ll come to my house the next weekend, I asked him where he relocated to but he refuse to disclose his new address.
Some minutes later, the gateman opened the gate and led me into the house. The house was beautiful, the sitting room was tastefully furnished.
I stood in the sitting room waiting for him to come out, he joined me later, we exchanged cold greetings.
“How did you know this place?”
“Walls have ears you know! do you expect me to just fold my hands and do nothing about us”
“Why are you here?”
“Tunde, I’m here for just one reason, where did I go wrong?”
“Pamilerin, you did not do anything wrong, I know I promise to come see you but have been very busy”
"I think by now you should have a better excuse than 'busy' or what do you think?"
"I wish you could understand"
"Understand what? that you left because of all this"
"This has nothing to do with my present status"
"Just give me some time to clear my head, because right now I don't even know what I want"
"I get it, after five years... you want something new right? you are bored with us"
"Don't put it like that, please give me time.."
He was still talking when I saw a lady walked down the stairs. She was wearing a crop top on a bum short. She’s fair and her skin was glowing like that of a super model.
I'm not bad myself, that is obvious but this lady is one of those who spend every penny they have on looking good.
“Baby can you please give us some minutes, I’ll meet you upstairs” he said to the lady.
Baby! I exclaimed
“I’m sorry I can’t, who is she anyway?” she asked Tunde.
“She’s a friend”
“A friend! so she’s the baby and I’m the friend right! now I get it” I said
“I don’t care who she is, but I need her to leave this place this minute before I call security to throw her out” she yelled
“Tunde I’m not leaving this place until you answered my question or don’t you think you owe me an explanation. You got a new job, you even relocated without telling me, God knows I did not deserve this from you”
“Stop right there gold digger, so that’s why you are here, to reap where you did not sow!” the lady launched at me.
“That should be my line, Don’t you know you are the gold digger here, reaping where you did not….
Before I finish the statement, her hands had already landed on my cheek, I stepped forward and returned the slap. Tunde hurriedly stood in between us.
“You watched her slap me and you do nothing about it? She lashed at Tunde
“Antonia! but you slapped her first”
“Really! I know what to do” She went out, called the Security and they ushered me out of the house.
Tunde said nothing, he watched as I was been led out of his house.
I took a cab that carried me straight to my house, thank God I had enough money on me, I cried silently in the cab.
I got a message from him on way home, he apologized for what happened in his house and promised to check on me.
I got home and cried bitterly. This is the guy that I love with the whole of my life, a guy I made so many sacrifices for. I spent five years of my life nurturing this relationship.
He was the only guy I dated all my life. I remembered the abortion and wept the more. I still live with the guilt till now. Even after the abortion I still went ahead to satisfy his sexual pleasures all because I want to please and keep him. I’ve done things I wished I could take back. All because of him.
Now i admit that sex won’t make men stay, they leave when they feel like and they stay if they want to, sex or no sex.
That night I wipe away my tears, took my bath and encouraged myself to forget about him and move on. I told God that night to strengthen me and help me move on because 5years relationship is not a joke.
I ended the relationship within me, having it at the back of my mind that I’m no longer in a relationship, meaning I’m officially single. Its obvious he doesn’t want the relationship either, so I’ll just sit back and wait for the day he’ll come to give his break up speech.
He called on Saturday morning and ask if I was at home, of course I’m at home it’s a Saturday. Some hours later he showed up at my place.
He apologized for not calling or visiting, he talked about the good times we shared, he talked about me having a lovely family and me having a good heart and all that.
And at the end of the whole epistles he said and I quote “Pamilerin I think we need a break”
“A break? Then you must think I’m blind, stupid and gullible. Tunde you and I know we don’t need a break, you don’t need to fool me, I wasn’t born yesterday.
You know exactly what we need and please don’t make me say it for you because I won’t forgive you if you make me say it for you”
“Pamilerin! I love you, but im not just feeling the vibe anymore, Love is not enough you know” he said with Pleading.
“Please cut to the chase and spare me the lectures” I said sternly.
“Ehm actually, things are no longer working out between us, what I really mean is that…we should….end the relationship" he said
I knew already that the relationship is over I just want him to say whatever he has to say and leave me for good, I was that tired.
“Fine, the relationship has ended before now, all this is just formalities. I wish you all the best”
He was shocked at my words. I’m sure he didn’t expect that, he thought I’ll be crying or something or maybe he thought I’ll beg him not to leave, it’s written all over his face that he was shocked at the way I reacted to the news.
I’ve cried my eyes dried before now and I already let go since.
He apologized for not coming out straight in the first place and with that we ended it.
In the evening, I went to my parent’s bedroom, and explained everything to them.
“Pamilerin, so you two have been having issues all this while and you never mentioned it? My Mom asked sounding worried.
“Mummy, I was trying to give him time, I thought things will get back to normal”
“So where did he expect you to start from now, ehn!” she lamented
“Eh! Woman, what will your Lamentation solve now. You should even thank God that we discover his true identity early” My Daddy said firmly.
“I thank God oooo, broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Who would have thought that, that boy would change like that” My mom said putting her two palms together.
“Daniella! My daddy called out as he fondly calls me.
“Sir” I replied
“Every disappointment is a blessing, and if one door closes another will open. So please try as much as possible to move on with your life”
“Yes sir, thank you sir”
“Jo oko mi ma ronu o” (myndaughter, please don’t brood about it)This is just a sign that Tunde is not yours. Please be strong, ehn!" Mummy added.
“ Mo ti gbo ma” (I’ve heard you ma) I replied.
I knelt down and thanked them.
“Good night sir/ma”
“Good night” they chorused.
I told my siblings were still in the sitting room, I broke the news to them too. There’s no point calling any friend, they’ll find out sooner or later.
I called my cousin, Joy. She’s preparing for her wedding with the same guy that got her pregnant when we were still in school. At least there are still few loyal ones out there. I guessed I wasn’t lucky with mine.
“Dear cousin, what’s up”
“Joy, Tunde broke up with me, he’s seeing someone else”
“It’s a lie, tell me you are joking. After all this years….”
“I’m not joking” I took my time and explained everything to her.
“That’s his lose my dear, just take heart, I believe God will provide someone far far better than him”
“Please don’t kill yourself over one stupid son of Adam o”
“Me! Never. My sister how’s the wedding preparation going?" I asked brushing my own issue aside.
“Leave that for now, Let’s focus on you now”
“Joy…. There’s nothing to focus, Let’s just say that’s how God want it.
She told me about the latest plan on ground, before i ended the call.
I prayed that night thanking God for giving me the strength to handle it, while I was praying few drops of tears left my eyes, but trust me I wasn’t down or broken.
I told myself "Isaac Oluwapamilerin Daniella the sun will shine again”. With that, I slept off.
To be continue.......
#When someone hurts you, you learn to be stronger…..When someone leaves you, you learn to be independent #
After my break up with Tunde, I kept myself busy with work and Church activities. I don’t party or club but I make sure I use my free time to engage myself in things that makes me happy. I fed my soul with good music. Yes music is food for the soul.
Sincerely I enjoyed my single status, I was free, I don’t owe anyone any explanation for my life, I do things my way and I buy less recharge card. I know how much I spend on recharge cards when I was dating.
My Parents were very happy because I was happy. My Daddy called me once and told me “I never knew you are this strong, I’m proud of you”
He actually said this after My cousin’s wedding. My cousin got married to her Price charming, her wedding was awesome. I was there for her all through.
I just told him “Daddy, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger.
Five months later, I was in my room relaxing after doing my chores. I was about to see a movie on my laptop when I heard my phone ring, I looked around for my phone then I noticed the sound is coming from the bathroom.
I remembered I left it there when I washing. My Mom always warn me not to take my phone to the bathroom, but I love listening to music when washing or doing other chores.
In my Mummy’s voice “The day that phone will drop inside water, ehn. Thank God you are working, you know how easy it is to earn money”
I rushed into the bathroom to pick my phone. I checked the caller Id it was an international number, I was wondering who it was, although I have few friends abroad, but we only communicate via social media platforms, we rarely talk on phone.
“Hello” I replied, please who is this?
“This is Daniel on the line calling from America, please I’d like to speak with Mr Paul” he said in American accent.
“Sorry, this is a wrong number” I informed him.
“Wrong number? He said from the other end. Please hold on while I checked the number again.
“I just rechecked this is the number I was given” he said
“Well, I’m sorry this is my line and obviously I’m not Mr Paul”
I expected him to end the call but he did not, I suspected he’s some how disappointed.
“Oh…my… goodness” he said stressing each word.
Any problem” I asked just feeling concerned.
“I’m coming to Nigeria on a business trip tomorrow and he’s suppose to help me settle down and show me around. Mr Paul is a cousin to a friend of mine whom I can’t even reach right now. He’s busy with his project somewhere in East Africa and I can’t reach him over there too” he explained.
“Sorry about that, I said. Do you know his email address, if you do then you can mail him”
“Yes I have sent numerous mails to him, I called this line because he did not reply any of my mails”
“Ok let’s try it this way, use his email address to search for him on facebook, then maybe you can be lucky to get his mobile no or other information about him on facebook” I suggested.
“You are a life saver, you know I never thought of that,I was so anxious to get through to him, I couldn’t think straight. That was a good suggestion, thanks for your time. Despite the fact that I’m a stranger, you still took your time to find me a solution. Thanks I appreciate it. What’s the name” he asked
“Pamilerin, but if you can’t pronounce that you can call me Daniella”
Of course I can, I’m Nigerian and I’m yoruba but I’ll prefer Daniella since my name is Daniel” he said jokingly. Thanks for your help”
“You are welcome”
Thanks once again and have a great weekend.
“You too, bye” I replied, then the line went off.
To be continued...........
Weeks later, After school hours I was busy attending to one of my student that I coach privately, he called my attention to my phone.
“You have a call ma”
“Thanks” I said and picked the call.
“Hello Daniella!” the voice said, I was surprised, just few people knew me by that name.
“Hello, who I’m I speaking with”
“This is Daniel” the voice said.
I did not reply immediately trying to figure out the voice.
“ I called last month from US….wrong number….do you now remember now” he asked
“Oh! My bad, I think I now remember you”
“Thanks for the other time Daniella, your suggestions really worked, I got Mr Paul’s phone number from his Facebook account, it’s just the last two digits that is different from yours.
“You are welcome, it’s nothing, I’m glad the idea worked. But this no is not an international no” I said.
“I’ve been in Nigeria for the past one month, you know I told you I’m coming on a business trip and it has really been hectic. I should have called earlier, I’m sorry”
“You don’t need to be sorry, I’m even surprised that you called, I told you earlier, its nothing”
“You think what you did for me is nothing, but to me it meant a lot. You taking your time to talk to me that very day as if we know each other is something that is not common nowadays, so I appreciate your kind gesture.
“Ok, let’s just thank God”
“I’m going back to the state next week, I’m through with the business deal and I want to ask if we could meet, at least let me see the face of this lady with a good heart” Daniel pleaded.
“Good heart you say!” I laughed. You know what you don’t need to do that, although I like the fact that you appreciate little things but seriously it’s okay. Just enjoy your stay here in Nigeria before going back to the US
“Please, please, please….. don’t hang up, I don’t mean any harm, I just want to know you, who knows you might be of help to me, you can even show me around Lagos. You know I have nobody here except Mr Paul”
“OK if you insist, but I’ll be the one to pick our meeting place” I specified
“I’m good with that, so can I see you tomorrow” Daniel asked
“I’m only free on Saturday” I replied
“Alright then I’ll call back on Friday so you can tell me where to meet you. Even if I can’t locate the place, Mr Paul will assist me.
“Bye, I’ll talk to you on Friday” he said and ended the call.
I saved the number, but I was worried. We live in a wicked world, where you can’t even trust your own relative not to talk of a stranger.
I was scared, I’ve never done this before, I mean meeting a complete stranger. Although he sounded like a good person. I decided to sleep over it, if my heart tells me to go, I will, if it says otherwise, I won’t go.
To be continued...........
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